About Us
Our Mission
We're America's sharpest creative minds, now available for hire. After decades of perfecting the art of making people laugh, cry, and question reality, we're applying those same skills to make your brand unforgettable.
Our mission? Deliver big ideas with the wit and precision that made us America's Finest News Source. Because if we can make fictional news this compelling, imagine what we can do for your very real business.
37
Years of Making Headlines
312
Coffee Cups Per Great Idea
24/7
Wit Availability
Message from the CEO
Sterling Cashworth
Global Visionary, Reluctant Taxpayer
"At AFCA, our mission is to commoditize humor, milk genius, and bill you handsomely for it. Let's innovate something that looks expensive."
Case Studies
Technologies
We fired the intern who was building this
Turns out they were the only one who understood it
+ Prototyping
+ Marketing
+ Advertising
+ Web Development
+ Branding
Work
Claims Processing Purgatory Inc.
The Service Design Strategy That Turned One-Click Approvals Into Multi-Year Adventures
MarketingBrandingWeb Design
Professional Gaslighting Solutions
A Packaging Design That Makes Products Look Different Than Advertised
MarketingBranding
Notification Spam Specialists
Our UX Research That Identified the Perfect Interruption Timing Algorithms
UXMarketing
Minimum Balance Gotcha Group
The Digital Experience That Made Balance Checking Feel Optional
Web DevelopmentWeb Design
Unnecessarily Complex Accounting
Our Brand Identity System That Made Simple Spreadsheets Look Like NASA Launch Sequences
BrandingMarketingWeb Design
Security Deposit Recovery Services
Building their Customer Portal That Makes Disputing Charges Nearly Impossible
Web DesignWeb Development
Contact Us
Ready to transform your brand? Our team of writers is standing by to help you achieve marketplace dominance. We process all inquiries in order of budget size.
Email: AmericasFinest@theonion.com
Phone: 555-ONIONCO (555-397-5648)